There’s a secret “fuel” you can use to develop greater focus, produce better work, and make a bigger difference in the world.
It’s not some fancy new nootropic, psychedelic drug or breathing technique.
It’s deeper than that.
It’s a secret that the Dalai Lama, Martin Luther King and Gandhi have used to become forces of nature and change the world forever.
I have to be honest: this method is not for the faint of heart.
It will sometimes make you feel uncomfortable, exposed and vulnerable.
But it will also help you forge a stronger character while feeling more inspired and determined than you’ve ever been.
I’ll tell you all about it a moment but first, let me share a personal story.
When I first became an entrepreneur, I convinced myself that I was building a business to help others and make the world a better place.
But in reality, my motivation was more self-centered: I wanted to become financially free, travel the world and get to work with exceptional people.
Because I was operating from a place of ego, I felt lots of anxiety, stress and fear that my work wouldn’t be liked by others (typical symptoms of over-reliance on ego).
The truth is, I cared about people, and I genuinely wanted to help them- but I wasn’t emotionally strong enough yet to allow myself to feel their suffering.
I used my intellect to understand the challenges they faced, and turned that information into powerful solutions and effective marketing material.
But deep down, I knew my work was nowhere near its true potential: it lacked depth, sensitivity and sacredness.
On a sunny California afternoon in 2015, something changed.
After studying Buddhism for more than a decade, my heart finally burst open.
For the first time in my life, I let myself feel the collective suffering of men around the world.
How much they struggled to repress their feelings and emotions.
How they wanted to be strong for their family but were secretly suffering.
How they felt trapped, unsupported and confused by the modern world.
I felt the beauty of their heart. The purity of their soul. And the weight of their burdens.
It all hit me like a tidal wave. I started sobbing uncontrollably. For hours.
I had never experienced anything like it before, and in the midst of tears, I knew this was a defining moment of my life.
Because it lead to this thought: “I MUST do something to help these men”.
Not “I want to do something about this” or “there’s a good business idea there”.
My soul told me very clearly:
“You MUST do this. This is your mission. Your responsibility.
Don’t run away, don’t close your heart.
Step up and do the work.”
In that moment, I took a deep breath and made a deal with the Universe.
I was going to do whatever it took to become the best man I could be, transcend the struggles most men experience, and help them do the same.
I felt a surge of energy, of resolve, of power unlike anything I’d ever felt before.
It was a jolt to my soul.
I knew nothing was ever gonna be the same (and it hasn’t…)
I want you to think about your current motivations for work right now.
What drives you to reach higher levels of success?
What gets you out of bed in the morning?
What is the fuel source in your career right now?
If you’re like most, it’s a mix between personal gain (money, safety, advancement) and altruistic pursuits (helping others, making a difference, changing the world).
For the first part of my career, if I’m honest, my fuel was 80% personal gain, 20% altruism.
I still worked hard, took bold action and persevered in the face of obstacles.
But truth be told, I was using service as a means to reach my personal goals, rather than because it was my purpose to do so.
Can you see that being the case in your own life?
Today, I want to challenge you to conduct an experiment for the next 30 days.
It will take commitment, courage and sensitivity.
But it’s also going to change your life forever.
Here it is: I want you to switch the formula around so that 80% of your fuel comes from genuinely helping others, and 20% comes from personal gain.
Why? Because you will tap into such a deeper source of power within yourself that you will suddenly have radically more energy, courage and magnetism.
Your work will stand out, people will trust you more, and you will feel truly connected with the rest of humanity.
As the Dalai Lama says, “only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek.”
This all sounds good in theory… But how do you put that into practice?
How can you put your ego, fears, and selfish desires aside and connect with the sacred place in you that truly wants to serve the world?
Let me guide you through a quick, experiential process. It will be much more powerful than any concept I could explain.
Are you willing to play along? Let’s do it.
Step 1: Put your hand on your heart. Feel its warmth, aliveness and compassion. Allow yourself to connect with it. (Do this until you actually feel it).
Step 2: Start thinking about the people you serve in your work. Try to picture individual faces and life stories. Feel your care for these people, and your desire to serve them.
Step 3: Now consider the WORST PAIN they’re experiencing as a result of NOT working with you. Are they anxious? Depressed? Sad? Lonely? Frustrated? Something else?
Step 4: (This is the hardest) Allow yourself to have tremendous empathy for their situation. Put yourself in their shoes.
What do they feel? How is their life impact? Who else is suffering as a result?
Now stay with it. At least for 15-60 seconds.
Don’t shy away from this feeling, it’s painful but it can’t hurt you.
Don’t run away from your compassion. It’s good for you and others.
Step 5: Feel the joy they’ll have when they finally experience your product/service. The relief. The gratitude. The alleviation of suffering. How much better they’re going to feel because of your work.
Step 6: The contrast between the feelings you experienced at #4 and #5 is the reason why you do what you do. This is the impact you can have on people’s lives.
From this place, tell me: how important for you to help these people? Can you feel your sacred responsibility to bring support, relief and guidance to these people?
Is it “Yeah, that’d be pretty nice…” or “Man.. I MUST help them out”? If it’s the latter, great job- you’ve completed the exercise.
If you’re not fully feeling it yet, keep your hand on your heart and keep breathing into it.
If you’re like most men, it’s possible you’ve been disconnected from your heart (and taken refuge in your mind) for so long that this is foreign and out of practice for you.
But thankfully, your caring heart is like a muscle. The more you use it, the better trained it gets.
Now that you’ve tapped into this energy, hopefully you feel how potent it is.
But feeling it once is not enough- that was just a glimpse of its power.
The real magic is if you can bring this feeling to your work every day.
So here’s what I suggest:
Every morning before work (either at the end of your meditation, during your drive to the office, or when you first sit at your desk), take 1 minute to connect deeply with this feeling.
Allow the potent emotions to hit you.
Allow yourself to feel this: “Your work matters. It makes a difference.
People out there really need you to bring your great work to the world.
Without it, they’ll keep suffering and experiencing much more pain than needed.”
Every day you do this, you’ll be able to bring a greater intensity to your work.
More passion. More love. More energy.
Less fear. Less anxiety. Less isolation.
Your life, and the lives of those you’re dedicated to serving, will never be the same.
Now I’d love to hear from you: how do you connect with your purpose every day? How do you ensure that you work comes from the most powerful place within you? Let me know in the comments below!
PS. To supercharge this practice, try to talk with your clients/customers on a regular basis. Ask them about their dreams, fears and challenges. Get to know them personally. The more you see them as actual humans, rather than faceless “target market”, the more powerful your work will be and the more successful you’ll be.
PPS. Please share this post so more men can connect with their purpose and produce powerful work for others.